It was a rough year overall, there was lots of changes and transitions for our little family. Not all were bad though, C time in the army ended and we returned to Texas. He started a job that seems to be stable, yay! If you have been around a while you know when the economy took a crap that C’s field was a bust. (Enough about that). Things there seem to be looking up except we miss Tricare. This summer I hit a super depressed period where I was barely functioning. It took a med change to help get me out of it. And I am not ashamed of it. I need medication to function, yes function. I have a mental illness and I am not ashamed of it. The boys are both in school and seem to be enjoying it. Ian is repeating first grade and we see so much growth and maturity in him. Ollie is flourishing in school, he was ready when he started last spring. I am glad that we waited till after we moved for him to start school. There will be more to come but I am struggling with what to share and what not to share.
This is probably gonna be long and ramble. But I mean who reads this anymore? Me I do, I just went through my archives to read about my Ryan Jane. After a twitter friend recently suffered a loss, it made me realize that I am far removed from the angry manic person who took a trip to utah with out even discussing with her husband in the months that followed. Wow it is amazing what a couple years of therapy and proper medication has done for me. Now in know way am I forgetting about my loss or the kindness showed to me in the days following it. So thank you again. It is amazing after reading those posts that I am still here, I was so angry and raw. I miss what could have been but am so Thankful for Oliver.
As I mentioned in my last post I am going back to school to become a licensed real estate agent, I am doing a self paced program through Texas A&M Commerce. Well last week when I started classes I realized studying on the couch wasn’t going to work for me. Well about the same time a neighbor but a desk out on the corner. Well it took me a week to realize that I needed a desk. So my mom and I decided that instead of buying a new desk I would just use the one on the corner. What an adventure it was the two of us trying to load this thing up in the back of the car, and then realizing that the hatchback won’t close. Lucky I didn’t have to go very far as it was in our subdivision.
So after bringing it home, I had to make it mine. So with out spending any money (shopping my home) I decorated it. I hope it looks as good as it makes me feel which is happy. I am so glad that I have my own creative space.
I started last month with a group of girls doing our monthly goals. If you would like to read last months it is here. What do I want to strive for in July, this week I would keeping everyone alive, I am having a tough week with depression. As I sit here I have no idea what I want to do so here it goes.
July 2016 Goals:
To enjoy life’s outtakes, not every moment is picture perfect. More often then not they are not, so why enjoy them in stead of letting them stress me out.
To not loose myself to the depression.
To try and blog/Vlog at least once a week.
To make all my CHRP meetings.
I started the path to get my certification to be a real estate agent, so finish at least one unit every two days.
To not cancel plans with people because of the anxiety.
To put my phone down and enjoy the life around me.
We went home to surprise my Bonus Mom for her birthday. A since we were already in town we decided to spend Fathers day with my Daddy.
It was a day spent having fun in the sun, Nonnie broke out the slip and slide while Pop watched. Where was C you asked he was at home enjoying some peace and quiet while doing his homework for grad school.
I know it is almost half way through June but genuinelyjenny posted her June goals and I loved the idea. So I decided that I was going to dip my toe in and try.
- Fold all the laundry and put it all away. (I really struggle with this)
- Go to the library at least once a week.
- Try to post at least one blog post and video a week.
- Embrace the small things and enjoy the days with my boys.
I really like this idea. I am hoping to do this ever month, I can tell you how I did on the previous months goals.
We got up this morning and we decided to check out a pool in the next town over that didn’t cost an arm and a leg to go to. It was awesome other being a touch chilly still. The boys loved it, other then not being tall enough to go down the slide. We will be going back more this summer and hopefully with friends.
Don’t worry people Ian doesn’t weigh 50 lbs yet so he can still wear is puddle jumper. We will be working on swimming this summer to hopefully not need it next summer.