Like my belly button, I am a cave. I protect those who dwell within my
walls. I am isolated from the rest of the world for the most part unless I
choose to get some sun. Once in a while lint and dust collects on my
doorstep, but I just sweep it away. I hear more than a few rumors about
how outies are liberated, free to pursue their dreams and passions. If you
ask me, it’s here in my place, where life happens. I don’t draw a paycheck, but I am
rich. I’m an innie.
If you’re are an outie, that’s okay, most of my friends are outies. This
isn’t about conversion. I’m not an expert on you, just me. This is about
my journey to become an innie and the strength that I draw from being one.
Maybe you will read this and find something you can identify with or
appreciate. Or not.
My Mom was an innie. Although college educated and could make more money
than my Dad, she chose to stay home. So you could say I didn’t know any
different growing up until I became a nanny (outside of Washington, D.C.)
and became primary caregiver to three kids. I did my best, but fell miles
and miles short to the care that ‘could have been’ from their mom. When I
became engaged to Ben and we were talking about having kids this was my
response, “If we have one, we will have two. After that it’s negotiable.
AND! I’m staying home with them, no matter what you make.” Ben
agreed even though his mom was an outie. I was surprised, as she was a
high income earner, and fantastic mom. So far it’s something we have never
I’ve been at home now for basically 14 years with stints into part time
jobs or full time temporary ones. Nine of the years have been with kids
and otherwise a homemaker…this is what I’ve found.
I can stretch a dollar further than most because I have TIME to look for
great deals on insurance, mortgages, vacation needs, clothing, or whatever.
I save gobs of money on food because I have TIME to cook healthy meals from scratch.
I save gobs of money on heating and cooling because I’m here to feed the
fire, regulate the fans, and have TIME hang laundry out on the line.
Our boys see how we are ONE. A team of silliness where
they are key players, while developing our values by virtue of spending
TIME around us.
Since my housework is never done, I take TIME for me. I try to work out five times a week with a friend. This is a
physical and emotional need I have. Some weeks exercise isn’t enough. So I
tell Ben I need a day off to pursue my own interests. He gladly gives, cause
even in my house. If mama ain’t happy…
It all boils down to TIME. When it’s gone you can’t get it back.
If all that isn’t enough. I really feel it was my calling. God made me (and most women) to nurture and love. He
made Ben to ‘leave the cave, kill it and drag it home’. Two totally
different jobs for two totally different folks. When brought together in
marriage and the two becomes one, it’s like the mystery of the ages as
been solved. Everything is complete. Yin and Yang. Peas and Carrots.
You’ve got the whole enchilada. Around here we say…”He makes the living.
I make it worth while.” We are truly rich. Not a bad return for one very
Are you an innie, a stay at home mom (SAHM), domestic engineer, homemaker,
housewife, your kid’s mother, your husband’s wife? Do you want to be?
P.S. ~ A ‘BIG ‘ole Texas THANK YOU’ to Bobbi Janay (a fabulous innie) for
allowing me to guest post on her nifty blog. It was an honor. Ya’ll come
and visit me at http://reclaimsimplicity.com for
more tips and tales about living simply.