As I am sitting here watch Christian Siriano’s Moment. I feel like I need a moment actually I need more then a moment. I need more along the lines of a weekend, I need some time to mediate on some things and be alone with myself. Since shortly after Christmas it has been that I have been physical or emotionally drained. In the last 4 weeks it has came to the point where I am no longer Bobbi Janay, but more of a shell of her. I am not the wife to Casey that he needs me to be. There is so much he needs me to be and I haven’t been fulfilling any of his needs. I have been hard headed, short tempered, and our marital bed has been empty. I am afraid to admit this but I have been nothing but going through the motions with Ian for the past few weeks. When he calls me to get out of bed in the mornings, it takes every once of strength I have to go get him. Most days have gone by in a haze, I am lucky enough to have a son that loves independent play. I have been failing as a friend, I know that my friends need me to be a better friend then I have been recently.
How can I recharge myself? I know that I am working on my relationship with god (yes readers I am christian) but I that won’t fix everything. I know I need that I need to make other changes to my life. How do I go about making these changes, getting them to stick and healing myself so that I am more then a shell? How do I make those that care about me see how much I need sometime to myself to mediate what changes need to be made?
Don’t miss any of my adventures of being a Grown up?